I stand in the shower and let the hot water soak into my hair and run over my ears. The rest of the world gets muffled, and I find the quiet and space I long for there. No one is climbing me, touching me, needing me, calling me over and over again. I inhale the steam and exhale the weight off my shoulders, and I will the 5 minutes of peace to slow down before I get to shampooing my hair.

Those 5 minutes feel like manna in the desert.

I get out of the shower and send a text to my sister, “Are you wearing makeup? Wondering how chill I should go?” We’re meeting at her house to grill some steaks, and I’m crossing my fingers she replies with a no.

“Nope. Super chill,” she texts back.

A tiny bit of pressure flits away, and that nope feels like manna in the desert too.

When the ordinary routines of life and mothering overwhelm me, and depression lays like a fog in my soul, I’m desperate for mercy, for supernatural provision as I journey through a wilderness season. Those moments of manna in the desert whisper remember, remember and Shelly Miller’s words come again to me:

Sabbath reminds us that we belong because we are already accepted. Rest requires that we be who we are and nothing else.

My sister’s text sets the tone for our time together and gives me permission to be who I am and nothing else. I feel lighter and grateful to know that rest will be enjoyed soon.

We arrive at her house carrying my husband’s Perfect Summer Corn Salad and a box of La Croix, and we settle into the groove we’ve formed at our family gatherings. The kids head straight to the toys to play, fight, and repeat. My husband and I prepare the vegetables to be grilled and start roasting the broccoli in olive oil and butter. My brother gets the steaks on the grill, and all the scents meld into the fragrance of welcome and home and rest.

Even as I breathe it in, I long for more. I sift through my wanting and seeking, and it’s not the smell of charcoal burning or the butter sizzling or the delicious food we’ll be relishing I need more of. I’m frantic for rest. I’m starved of it. I want to gather it up and hoard it away. But like manna, rest can’t be stored for later; it’s given when it’s needed the most, over and over again.

Every day I come to the end of myself, sometimes as early as 8 in the morning, and I beg God to take me away to a place of peace and quiet. I imagine it’s near the ocean where the breeze is cool and it feels as though I can breathe again. Perhaps that time will come one day, but for now He’s giving me rest and mercy in small pieces throughout the day. I gather the pieces of manna He sends, and they remind me He’s present and able to help me when I am desperate.

We sit at the table and say a prayer of thanks for the food and the family, and my shoulders relax. I’ve come as I am- no makeup and all- and I am accepted, loved, and rested.

Perfect Summer Corn Salad
Write a review
Print
Ingredients
  1. 4 cups sweet corn cut from the cob (approx. 5 corn on the cobs)
  2. 2 cups fresh green beans (cut into 1/2 in. pieces)
  3. 1 1/2 cups sliced radishes
  4. 1 1/2 cups sliced cucumbers
  5. 1 cup diced cilantro
  6. 1 cup diced red onion
Dressing
  1. 1 tbs dijon mustard
  2. 4 tbs lime juice (approx. 2 limes)
  3. 8 tbs. extra virgin olive oil
  4. 1 tbs. honey
  5. A pinch of salt
  6. A pinch of pepper
Instructions
  1. Slice, dice, and cut green beans, radishes, cucumbers, cilantro, and red onion.
  2. Cut corn off cobs.
  3. Blanch corn for about 2 minutes; cool immediately in ice bath.
  4. Blanch green beans for about 3 minutes; cool immediately in ice bath.
  5. For the dressing, juice the limes into a bowl and slowly add the olive oil as you whisk. Add dijon mustard and honey and whisk until it emulsifies. Add salt and pepper to taste.
  6. Mix all vegetables and dressing together.
  7. Season further with salt and pepper as needed.
Grace Table http://gracetable.org/
Grace P. Cho
Grace P. Cho / Posts / Blog
Grace is a writer, wife to a chef husband, and mama to two littles. She is learning to love what must be done in the mundane rhythms of life, and her favorite way to connect with people is to gather them around the table and fill their bellies with good eats and their souls with words of truth. Writing has become her way of worshiping God and leading others, and she hopes people will feel welcome not only in her home but also in the places she writes for online. Aside from Grace Table, she a contributing writer and editor at The Mudroom, and she writes on her own blog at www.gracepcho.com. You can follow her on Instagram for glimpses of her everyday life, which include books, nature, her children, and of course, food.
  • Mary
    Mary
    http://marybonner.net/

    This is beautiful, Grace. A breath of fresh air that I needed to breath this morning.

    July 7th, 2017 10:29
    Reply
    01
  • Carolina Hinojosa-Cisneros
    http://cisneroscafe.org

    I love how we can be ourselves, no expectations, no need for show around loved ones. I relate and love your story. Thank you so much for sharing and I would love to try that salad recipe. It looks so fresh. xx

    July 7th, 2017 10:45
    Reply
    03
    • Grace P. Cho
      Grace P. Cho
      http://www.gracepcho.com

      It IS so fresh! Also, your blog is gorgeous. <3

      July 7th, 2017 13:05
      Reply
      04
  • kimmie

    We were on vaction with my mom and sister last week. There were so many moments I wish I could’ve bottled up for home.

    July 7th, 2017 13:38
    Reply
    05
    • Grace P. Cho
      Grace P. Cho
      http://www.gracepcho.com

      Write them down if you can with as much detail as you can! They will be tokens from your time together!

      July 7th, 2017 14:58
      Reply
      06
  • Paula Trotter

    Grace, that was very well written ~ and actually lifted weight from my own shoulders just reading your lovely words. Even though I’m retired I had to go back part time. I so want to get back to my own writing and pray for God’s direction in my life, to give me not only the spark again, but to make a way so that I can ~ and be a writer in my retirement!
    Thank you for your words.

    July 7th, 2017 22:38
    Reply
    07
    • Grace P. Cho
      Grace P. Cho
      http://www.gracepcho.com

      Thank you for sharing, Paula. I hope you can still get down some words each day. A little everyday will pile up to be more than you thought you could write!

      July 7th, 2017 22:57
      Reply
      08
  • Theresa Boedeker
    http://TheresaBoedeker.com

    You are so right. God doesn’t give us peace and rest to store up, but when we need it, and in small doses. As a momma, I can so relate to this.

    July 7th, 2017 23:13
    Reply
    09
    • Grace P. Cho
      Grace P. Cho
      http://www.gracepcho.com

      Yes! I’m finding this the truest in mothering.

      July 7th, 2017 23:21
      Reply
      10

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *