Finding Ourselves in Unexpected Ministry

After putting my girls to bed, after our youngest’s birthday dinner was celebrated, after the living room was obliterated with gift wrap, I snuck away into the garden.  With summer inching away, the sun setting earlier making the after bedtime watering, weeding, deadheading more difficult.  

As I stood there in my garden, I was reflecting on how I got here, in this spot, watering a flower garden, when just a year prior I was only interested in my vegetable garden.  How did I grow to love these star-like sunset speckled dahlias, or the towering tissue-paper hollyhocks?  When did I begin looking for flower gardening books instead of cookbooks?  Have I replaced this with my love of cooking?  I felt rather aghast to think I could ever replace time in the kitchen with time out here in this garden, flower garden no less.
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Rest from Self-Imposed Identity

But, then I realized how it is this fear of feeling like I need to live up to a title I gave myself long ago.  One in which people would affirm and encourage.  People would say, “Kamille, you should open up a bakery,” or, “When you open your own restaurant, I’ll be a regular.”  I would never buy store bought cookies when I snobbishly would say to Ben, “I can bake that at home, don’t buy it.”  I felt if I bought a store baked batch of cookies, then I would be a fraud.  What would people think of me?  

If I neglected to bake and cook, how could I keep up a food blog?  What if I didn’t find joy in photographing food, writing down the recipes anymore, or simply not have enough time to do those things?  And then, what if people forgot that I am known for my baking, my cooking, my grain-free concoctions?

This led to me questioning my writing, teaching cooking classes, leading women, etc. I began asking Jesus, “Who am I anyway? I don’t want to not love being in the kitchen.  I don’t want to not love writing.  How did I get here in this garden?”  
Our Souls & Minds Need Winter Just as Much as Summer.There are seasons in life, which ebb and flow.  Some winters are more harsh, while others gently come and gently go.  When I lost my older brother two years ago, I couldn’t find my way around the kitchen.  It was as if the muscle memory and the heart memory were diagnosed with amnesia.  Tastes weren’t sweet or salty.  It became a period of survival.
As I stood in my flower garden, I began to appreciate what Jesus did in Mark,

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”  So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

It was Jesus there in the garden allowing me to tear down my self-constructed tower of Babel, while he was nurturing the soil of my heart.

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Ministry of Flowers

Flowers seem frivolous.  Planting a vegetable garden, an orchard, well that’s quite utilitarian and serves a purpose.  However, sometimes what our soul needs is rest from what is perceived as dutiful and useful.  We need rest from the titles we have given ourselves.

We need flowers.To walk into the garden to enjoy the splendor of God’s artistry; be it for our own weary souls, or for someone else who needs the ministry of flowers.

Giving Yourself Permission to Rest from Titles

Rest is like art, we don’t need it to breathe and live out our days in the practical sense of living; however, rest enables us to better hear the inner thoughts and feelings of our soul. 

Whatever it is in your life, where you feel like you still need to be doing because you’ve given that title for yourself, let me encourage you to set it down for a while. Rest. Embrace that part of you that seems frivolous. Be it an artist of baking, hand lettering, floral design, landscaping, knitting, could you use this to bring life to your soul and then share it with someone else?

Kamille Scellick / Posts / Blog
Kamille Scellick passionately believes that gathering around the table is where the body, mind & soul will be nourished. It's around the table where you're sure to find her on any given day...eating, talking, listening & sharing life with her husband, Ben & three girls. She believes in life-giving hospitality Jesus style and sees his redemption being offered through it. Her greatest achievement is knowing she is extending this hospitality first & foremost to her family and then to others. You can find her sharing stories, hospitality, food and life with friend & stranger at her blog, Redeeming the Table. There's a seat for you at her table to find home.
  • Yvonne

    This post is both heavy and light — a breath of fresh air inviting us to disentangle from our titles and also weighty with the possibilities for new identities and ways to serve. Thank you so much. You’ve given me words to offer my teenager as she struggles anxiously with wanting to move on from a narrow little “title” she’s enjoyed (dancer) and discover new facets and gifts in herself. That’s scary for most of us, as you said here, and I think your words will offer her courage. Thank you so much!

    August 15th, 2016 9:45
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com

      Yvonne–your message blessed me so. I pray your daughter finds peace in His words giving her permission to shed off the old and become clothed with the new.

      Much love,

      Kamille

      August 15th, 2016 18:25
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  • Becky

    This is confirmation that it is indeed “okay” for me to enjoy the flowers for my soul even more than the vegetables for the body. Thank you.

    August 15th, 2016 10:27
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com

      Oh yes Becky–embrace that permission. My theory on this is is how much work it takes with vegetables. If you begin with seed, you need to start it, tend it, allow it to harden once outside, plant, more nurturing, then harvest. However, once you harvest vegetables your work isn’t done. You have to have a plan for what you’re going to do with it and the work feels endless. Flowers though…you simply harvest and enjoy them right then. So I say keep enjoying them, and planting them!!

      Kamille

      August 15th, 2016 18:30
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  • melissa
    http://melissahirshburg.com

    I love this post so much! Thank you Kamille, and Grace Table!!!!

    August 15th, 2016 11:36
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  • Theresa
    http://www.theresaboedeker.com/

    Your idea of finding healing and rest in flowers is what happened to me after a serious accident. Before that I had no interest in plants, but we moved, I planted roses and flowers and being out there carrying for the flowers and tending them in the solitude of my thoughts outside was just what I needed to get back into life. Flowers can restore you and minister to you and others. Thanks for the article.

    August 15th, 2016 21:11
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com/

      Hi Theresa,

      thank you so much for sharing your experience. Isn’t it so true how our life intersects with unlikely people or hobbies, and if we didn’t walk through a trial, or a different path we would never have found the beauty in those things. I apologize for the tardiness in my response, but know I read your message–blessings to you today.

      Kamille

      October 31st, 2016 13:41
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  • JIll
    http://http/jillsiegel.com

    Beautiful message. It uplifted me this morning. Thank you

    August 16th, 2016 7:21
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  • Jody Collins
    Jody Collins
    http://jodyleecollins.com/

    Oh, Kamille, I love how God is healing you, speaking to you and ministering to you through your flower garden. Your ‘aha’ about being who God is making you to be, not what you ‘should’ be–well, that’s a reminder revelation for us all.
    I find I often struggle with living up to what I may have committed to be or do, since I wrote it down (virtually) for all to see. But the only One we answer to is Jesus–I think He’s please when we are most alive in Him.
    (I SO want to come see those flowers in person. Maybe I can make that happen!)

    August 21st, 2016 20:28
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com/

      Hi Jody

      sorry i’m so late in responding. YES YES YES to all of what you wrote. I think it is difficult for those of us who write in an online sphere. and you are welcome to come anytime.

      love to you–Kamille

      October 31st, 2016 13:42
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  • Cynthia Stuckey
    http://www.happygostuckey.com

    I truly love this Kamille. And I see that we may have a little in common, but how refreshing your words are to me today. Thank you so.
    –Cynthia

    September 7th, 2016 12:11
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com/

      Hi Cynthia

      sorry to be late in responding. I love meeting other kindreds. I’m curious to know what you grew this summer? lovely to meet you,

      Kamille

      October 31st, 2016 13:37
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  • Nicole
    http://nicolevbennett.com

    Beautiful post, Kamille. Thanks for sharing what the Lord’s been doing in your heart and in turn living an example of resting from those self-imposed titles. It’s a message I needed to hear! xo

    September 8th, 2016 16:33
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com/

      Hi Nicole,

      sorry to respond so late. I’m thankful for you. My garden is not as beautiful, but it’s resting for spring and I guess it’s like our souls. We may think there’s no beauty to show; but, it’s resting to unearth what is in store. I hope your fall is met with beauty and reflection.

      Love–kamille

      October 31st, 2016 13:35
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  • Mary

    Kamille, this was such an encouraging reminder of what the Lord is doing with me. I have left the years of teaching my 7 children in our home, enjoying having them under our roof, and teaching a ladies study. All the Lord called me to was for a season and now He’s redefining me. It has been a difficult time, but He has been whispering hope as I work among my flowers and plants. My heart is being restored to a future He has for me, unseen as yet, but with a desire to bring that same hope to others that are weary and suffering, and draw them to our wonderful Creator & Restorer of our souls.

    September 9th, 2016 9:11
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    • Kamille Scellick
      http://www.redeemingthetable.com/

      Mary–I apologize for not responding to your heartfelt message. I can so relate to this. I think what I’m hearing is how we pour and invest into someone or something and when that changes, have I placed a bit or more of my identity there? Have I forgotten how I am God’s daughter and there is where my identity lies. Not in the things I do, or even the good family I get to raise. Those are simply roles, some of which morph yes? Then there are new situations, new seasons where God calls us into a new ministry, new setting and even though it’s good, it’s the tension of where we once were. Maybe you were speaking on a whole other level; but, that’s what I took away from what you wrote. Praying for you now as you step into this ministry of yours.

      warmly

      Kamille

      October 31st, 2016 13:46
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